Long Time, No See

Two Pears in a Porcelain Bowl

Learning to Tell Time

I disappeared for a while…  it happens.  Tragic, I know.  Those close to me know the personal circumstances that would lead to such and absence.  As for the rest of you, suffice it to say that I’ve needed some much needed personal space and something that resembles privacy.  Unfortunately, I have been as absent from my studio as I have been from writing.  Whatever emotional and spiritual well I draw from has been tapped for too long.  I wonder sometimes if that has been a mistake–to leave the studio, to leave my creative process for such a long stretch of time.  But there was nothing to be done about it.  I’m hoping that just being here and writing this will return me to my hands and their work.  What little creative work I’ve done has been for the Permafrost Journal at UAF and the Chapbook they publish every year.

I’m plenty fascinated by graphic design.  These little projects have been fun, and honestly, I wouldn’t mind doing this kind of thing a little more regularly (and for money).  They’re collaborative pieces ultimately and it’s always nice to have boundaries and limitations with which to work.  Constraints are a nice thing really… too often I get overwhelmed with the sheer number of choices I have in terms of media and subject matter.  It’s almost paralyzing in a way.  The above covers are the Midnight Sun Chapbooks put out by UAF.  The three below are the covers for Permafrost from the last three years.  The last being the yet to be released 2009 cover.

Permafrost Cover 2006, Painting by Dave Mollett

Permafrost 2008, Photograph by Larry McNeill

Permafrost 2009, Print by Lisa Gray

Now, lets all hope for something that resembles a miracle…let’s hope that my next post comes soon and that there are paintings (of mine) in it.

“Portrait of a Young Girl” or “Boredom”

My friend, the writer and artist, Kevin Eib remarked that since he knows Zoe well enough, he recognizes this expression.  He called it “Mom, this is sooooo boring”.  Those of you who know Zoe probably know that look.  Poor kid.  I empathize with the state that begets the expression.  Boredom is a fine enemy; powerful, debilitating, uninspiring.  I can think of now worse.  We discussed this idea, more specifically the French feeling of ennui, which is a special kind of existential boredom.  We were discussing Baudelaire’s Flowers of Evil, where boredom comes up as the “abortive birth” of the relationship between mankind and the devil.  I have grown to be quite fond of Baudelaire–once a person gets past the shock and revulsion of his images, once a reader sees past the vehicle and gets at the trope, there is a shining mystical heart to his work that I love dearly.  His poem “Carcass” is one of my favorites.  I was so excited to find that many of my students could see what lay beneath his disturbing imagery…the fleeting dissolution of self into a larger whole alongside the terror of a more permanent dissolution (death).  If I can get even 1 student to buy into the idea that literature and poetry are fundamentally important to our existence, then I’ve (obviously) done my job.  An important part of our discussion revolved around why Baudelaire found Boredom to be such a devilish problem… one or two students managed to identify the central problem: the (false) belief that one is powerless, an ambivalence that allows, even fosters, the growth of evil.  Truly, what worse feeling is there than to think that what one does doesn’t matter at all.  That all action ends in irrelavance.  Pretty hard to swallow if you ask me.

Goethe had some things to say about action:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.“

Lovely, no?

As far as the portrait goes, I still see some problems with the left eye, specifically the orbital indentation alongside the bridge of the nose needs more shading, and something is still off in the forehead (what?).  Also,I’m trying to  understand hair (shape, reflections, shading, curvature) but clearly still have much to learn.  The black and white medium (charcoal) is much easier to deal with…

Oh.  Here’s something interesting.  It turns out that the woman on whom the red-coated figure is based actually has a “thing” for mushrooms.  Funny, because I just couldn’t figure out why I kept seeing them.  It just didn’t make any obvious sense to me… I have no real connection to the little fungi, but Miss Bloom does.   Weird.  I suppose I must have known that somehow deep deep deep in my brain.  I’m glad I trusted my intuition and added them.  Seriously, no less than 4 times I “saw” the mushrooms before I finally said “fine” and added them even though it made no sense to me.  Cool.

Memories of a Southern Girlhood

I’m back to work.  I’m at a place right now where I need to paint what I want to paint…  There are times when I just need to do exactly what inspires me while ignoring outward concerns.  Lately, most of my inspiration is coming from female compadres.  Specifically, I’ve been thinking alot about three sisters (me and my sisters and the 3 Bloom girls).  Our culture tends to value romantic relationships over others, which makes sense since the romanitc is the center out of which families arise.  But the relationshps that form the periphery of romantic relationships, specifically childhood friendships that last well into adulthood, are just as important.  Why do we create such a rigid hierarchy with male-female relationships at the top?  Internally I’m beginning to sense a construct that is more “weblike,” a shape that includes the people in my extended family and friendships that are quite obviously necessary to my spiritual wellbeing.  I suppose this web has always been there, but I can see that I’ve bent my awareness to fit a shape that is contrary to this web.  The “nuclear” of my nuclear family is not comprised of an isolated atom…especially now that my family life is changing shape so dramatically.  A friend keeps reminding me to keep my heart open to all that the universe has to offer, and as I do that I find that my life is incredibly full and that I’ve been blessed with so much.  And I don’t say that in a way that excludes my previous life, but in a way that includes it while opening my life and home to a wider, larger family that has always been there.

Not only that, but I’m grateful to still have my sense of humor.  What’s funnier than putting on those big girl panties and singing along (badly, I might add) while the stars come out and you have the kind of friends who let you sing as loud as you want and give you hell for being the Nancy that you are?

And the mushrooms are not a drug reference, but I kept seeing them again and again, so I put them in there.  I’ll let you know if I figure out what they’re about.

The PBS/AlaskaOne Spot!

The folks over at AlaskaOne have now released this fabulous poster for their 2009 fund raising drive.  They (Tammy Tragis-McCook and Michael Letzring specifically) have been lots of fun to work with.  Here’s what the AlaskaOne website has to say:

A distinguished panel of artists and experts selected the painting titled My Funny Valentines by North Pole artist Madara Hill for the 2009 AlaskaOne poster.

Inspired by the Alaska landscape, Madara mixes wax, ink, powdered pigments, text or fabric with more conventional media while still using traditional Alaskan subjects. Madara uses vivid color to showcase this majestic trio of musk ox emblazoned across a whimsical field of color.

This enchanting oil and encaustic on canvas was chosen from over 60 submissions from artists throughout the state.

It’s rather odd to read about my work outside of myself.  But gratifying.  Now lets see if we can translate all this notariety into something permanent…
To see the full press release go HERE.

Learning From the Pros

Here is “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”.  I took this one into New Horizon’s a few days ago and it’s one of the 3 or so paintings that will be in the video clip that AlaskaOne is producing. And he’s going to work in some of Zoe and Finn’s artwork as well.  And I believe that  photos of my mother, my grandmother, and one of my mother’s paintings (of Grandaddy Friedrich) will be used in the montage as well.  My family is going to LOVE it.

Michael Letzring showed me some of the equipment they use to produce and, let me tell you, it was gadget heaven down there.  Huge double monitors, lightning fast processors, and enough buttons and dials to feel like a jet pilot.  It was geek heaven, Photoshop on steroids!!  Just the filters alone that were available in his software were enough to make me giddy.  He ran one called “Mary” over my face and it made me look like I just stepped out of a Renaissance painting, all chiariscuroed and soft.  Someone should invent a holographic projector that you can wear as a necklace and just project that filter 24/7 onto my face.  Who needs plastic surgery?  I should have been an inventor…

But I think I’ll just stick to painting, thank you very much.  That’s invention enough for me.  I’m still studying Klimt, obviously.  Trying to figure out how his compositions work.  I’m amazed at how well he creates dynamic compositions from rather static fields of shape.  Color appears to be the trick.  Color and the presence of larger shapes that are void of the smaller, repetitive shapes that make up most of the composition.  The man was a genius.  His Beethoven Freize (this photo is one it’s side–the whole thing is 34 meters long) is absolutely enormous and I can’t imagine the sheer number of hours he must have spent with a paintbrush over the course of his life.  They say that 10,000 hours is the magic number that separates the genius from the dilettante.  I don’t know how many hours I have to go before I’m even half the artist Klimt was, but I look forward to every single one.

The Zoe Painting in Progress

Here is a photo of the progress I made today on Zoe’s portrait.  There are some problems with the right eye that I’m having a hard time solving.  And some issues with the shape of the face that I hope won’t be too hard to fix.  There are a few other problems but let’s not nitpick.  Overall I’m pretty satisfied with how it’s coming along.

On another note I’m pleased to announce that (drumroll….) I received a call last night informing me that I won the 2009 Alaska One Poster Contest.  It comes with quite a bit of exposure.  I think fame and fortune will come easy to me and rest assured I won’t forget about the little people.  My close friends and family are welcome to free rides on the Lear Jet they provide, but the rest of you will have to talk to my bodyguards if you want to even get near me. That’s just the way these things go…

Seriously, this could be a harbinger (the good kind not the ominous kind) of things to come.  If I play my cards right I can leverage this in my favor.  Some pretty recognizable names have  graced the face of the Alaska One posters:  Claire Fejes, David Rosenthal, Bill Brody, Karin Franzen, Randall Compton, Byron Birdsall,  Barbara LaValle, Ree Nancarrow, Todd Sherman, David Mollett, and Jon Van Zyle to name just a few.  These are big deal Alaskan artists and one day I might be like that guy in Office Space; I’ll casually rest an elbow on my cubicle wall with a cup of coffee in my hand and say something like: “Sooooo…I’m kind of a big deal around here.”  I can’t wait.

Oh, and don’t even ask which painting won because it’s all very top secret until the grand unveiling.  They’re keeping the painting in a vault at the Pentagon until March.  I’ve taken a vow of silence.

Getting Back to My Roots

To the right is the preliminary sketch for a portrait I’m working on of my daughter.  I’m satisfied with the results of the sketch.  I spent quite a few hours getting it right.  After I got the whole figure down onto canvas (the first hour or so) it looked like this: 

The right eye was way off and the shape of her face was too round.  along with a number of other issues.  What comes next is going over the charcoal in a thin wash of burnt umber and then I’ll lay down the first layers of color.  However, from experience I know that everything and anything can go wrong from this point on.  The charcoal on canvas is the easy part since you can erase to your heart’s content.  Paint is another matter though.

Here is the photo I’m working from:

Such a pretty girl!  I hope I can do her justice…

Later that same day….  I’ve put the first layer of paint on and am feeling good about it.  I think I’ll stop here for the day.

Odd Ducks and Boiled Peanuts

Took my kids to a park here in ATL today and saw this very odd duck.  We thought maybe it was just sick at first because it wasn’t moving, even when we came very close.  Once I got close enough, it seemed healthy enough, just looked pretty odd.  Turns out its called a “Muscovy” duck.  Very cool, but not very elegant.  The warts on his head reminded me of a turkey.  He didn’t seem interested or bothered by the 50 or so Canadian geese and Mallard ducks that were swimming close by.

On the more elegant end of the bird spectrum, this gorgeous blue heron showed up again today.  I also got some great shots of him yesterday against a beautiful lakeside sunset.  Good inspiration for a painting maybe?

Also managed to eat a large pile of hot boiled peanuts today.  Let me tell you, that is food for the soul right there.  This whole trip so far has done me a world of good.  Between the sunshine, new sights, and good food, I might just make it to the new year!  My horoscope says that travel is on the agenda after a 12 year hiatus from my sign.  I hope that’s true.  There are few things I enjoy more than travel to new places with new (or in this case, old) food to be eaten.

Notes to Self

The infrequency of my studio visits is usually cause for a great deal of stress.  But I was reminded by a wiser, more experienced soul in this business that I should be spending this time working on marketing issues.  She suggested that I begin creating a portfolio to be mailed out to other galleries in Alaska.  I know that I need to get my work into places other than Fairbanks galleries.    Problem is, I don’t have any work to send them.  Nonetheless, getting those things together is probably wise.  Let’s see….  notes to self:

1.  Bio flyer with picture of me (Suzanne should take that one–I’m delegating.  I’ll have to write the bio, and that’s always a bit of a pain)

2. Brochure with photos of best (most Alaskan?) work

3.  Website with work only

4.  Have prints of my work made (?)  This one costs money, so I might have to put that one on hold.  But it sure seems like a no brainer to have some made.  I might not be able to send galleries new work but at least I can send them prints.

The big prelude to all of this is to organize all of the photos of my work and create 2 files, one for large photos and the other for small ones.  Also, a list of titles, dates, dimensions, and materials seems wise as well.  That’s a huge flipping job.  Humongous.   Ginormous.  I’ve been very disorganized…

Also, I should make a list of contests, group shows, and grants that come around yearly and make sure that I’m doing what I can for those venues.  For instance the AlaskaOne poster contest deadline is January 2nd.  I’ve forgotten about it every year due to the proximity of Christmas.  Let’s not have that happen again, hmmmm?

What am I leaving out?